Mister Miser Read online

  #

  Miser awoke that morning to a strange new world - a world where money had been rendered meaningless overnight. A bloodless revolution of hearts and minds had taken place. Goods and products were exchanged according to want and need rather than material gain, and both collective and individual freedom were instantly abundant rather than supposedly competing values. Poverty, war, corruption, discrimination and all other evils were banished to history.

  Banks was aware of the revolution’s passing in the night, and was more quiet than usual when breakfasting with his master. Even the blunt-headed Miser sensed something strange in the air, but chose not to voice his concerns. His remedy, as always, was to spend money, so he requested Banks to chauffer him to town where he would buy an antique Rolls Royce he was interested in adding to his collection.

  The drive into and through town fuelled Miser’s suspicions that something was amiss. Life seemed to be taking place as it would normally, but there was a difference. Miser detected that often subdued human trait: happiness. He shivered to the bone.

  The real shock, however, was delivered when Miser attempted to buy the vintage Rolls Royce from an antique car dealer. Miser enjoyed haggling, in spite of his great wealth - however, the dealer’s beaming smile was off putting, and Miser felt uneasy as he instructed Banks to inspect the car for rust.

  ‘OK, how much do you want? A hundred thousand?’ Miser spat at the dealer.

  ‘It’s yours, don’t worry. I don’t want it anymore.’ The dealer’s response was as instant as it was incredulous. Miser’s response was also instant.

  ‘What the hell do you mean, it’s mine? I haven’t given you any money?!’

  The antique car dealer explained as best he could the passing of the overnight revolution of hearts and minds. His attempt to describe and explain a wholesale change of priorities in the collective human consciousness were met with anger and derision from Miser, who was the only one left out in the cold.

  Banks too was lambasted by Miser for not informing him of the grave situation. This was the first time Banks had ever stepped out of line, but that morning he could not bring himself to deliver the news to his master. Banks knew deep down that Miser was the sole heart and the sole mind left unchanged from the dark days of old - and he could not bear to break the news to Miser himself.

  Further efforts by Miser to pay his way around town were met with polite rejection. Miser found that the entire concept of money had been abruptly abandoned overnight. He found it incredible that a store could supply products without the exchange of paper or coins - something that he, for all his life, had took for granted. He berated shopowners, who could only explain that they simply supplied demand, and money was now useless to them. Miser watched in horror as transaction after transaction took place before his eyes, with no sight of either cash or card. The transaction was indeed taking place, but Miser could scarcely believe it. He could not understand the new system; and therefore he feared it.